South ParkLotR Crossover
by Mr. Kittlez
Summary: When The Fellowship gets transported to the crappily-animated mountain town in South Park.... Oh, just read it.


Authors Note:Ah, another fic from this twisted mind. This is what happens when I get bored, and I get bored a lot. I hope you like it, and please R&R!!!! No flames please.  
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Stan: Theres a bunch of birds in the sky  
And some deers just went running by  
Ohhh, the snows pure and white on the earth rich and brown  
Just another sunday morning in my quiet mountain town  
The sun is shining and the grass is green  
Under the 3 feet of snow I mean  
This is a day when its hard to wear a frooooown  
All, the happy people stop to say hello!  
Stranger: Get out of my way!  
Stan: Even though the temperature is low  
Its a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town  
Sharon: Well good morning Stan!  
Stan: Mom, can I have eight dollars to see a movie?  
Sharon: A movie? But I thought you were going ice skating...  
Stan: But this is going to be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film   
from Canada  
Sharon: All right, all right; here you go, but be back for supper!  
Stan: Thanks Mom!  
Sharon: Oh what a picture perfect child  
Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild  
He'd a wear a smile while he wore a thorny croooooown  
What an angel with a heart so sweet and sure  
And a mind so open and pure  
Thank god we live in this quiet redneck mountain town!  
Stan: Hi, is your son home?  
Ms. McCormick: I think so... HEY!!! (Stan: ow) Kenny, wake up... Kenny   
dammit come on  
Kenny: Im coming or Okaaay  
Stan: Kenny the Terrance & Phillip movie is out, you wanna come?  
Kenny: (something another)  
Ms. McCormick: Where the hell do you think you're going?  
Kenny: I'm going to see Terrance & Phillip  
Ms. McCormick: You can't, you have to go to church!  
Kenny; But Mom, I wanna see this movie!  
Ms. McCormick: Well fine go ahead and miss church; and then when you  
die and go to Hell you  
can answer to Satan!  
Kenny: OK!  
Stan: You can see your breath hanging in the air  
You see homeless people, but you just don't care  
It's a sea of smiles inwhich we'd be glad to drown  
Kenny: ( not sure )  
Stan: That's right, its sunday morning in our quiet little white-bred   
redneck mountain  
tooooown!  
Kyle: OK, Ike lets try this one more time  
Ike: (cant tell)  
Kyle: Kick the baby!  
Ike: Don't kick the baby  
Kyle: Kick the baby  
Stan: Kyle, we're going to the Terrence & Phillip movie  
Kyle: Oh my god dude!  
Sheila: Kyle, what's going on?  
Kyle: Nothing, we're going skating now  
Sheila: Oh, well take your little brother out with you  
Kyle: Aw mom, he's not even my real brother, he's adopted  
Sheila: Do as I say Kyle!  
Kyle: Ok, ok I'm sorry  
Sheila: Look at those frail and fragile boys  
It really gets me down  
The world is such a rotten place  
And city life's a complete disgrace  
Thats why I moved to this redneck meshugannah quiet mountain town  
Cartman: Mom, somebody's at the dooor  
Mom, somebody's at the dooor, I said!  
Liane: Coming hun...  
Cartman: Ahh, I can't see the TV  
Generic Reporter (could possibly be Creamy Goodness): It's been six weeks   
since Saddam Hussiein was killed by a pack of wild boars and the worl d is   
still glad to be rid of him  
Liane: Oh Look Eric, it's your little friends  
Ike: Buyman...  
Cartman: What are you guys doing here? (sees movie ad) OH SWEET  
DUDE, YES!!!  
Four boys: Off to the movies we shall go  
Where we learn everything that we know  
Cuz the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say!!  
And this movie's gonna make our lives comeplete!  
Cuz Terrence & Phillip are sweeeeet (Cartman: Super sweet)  
Thank God we live in a quiet little red-neck po-dunk white-trash  
(Kenny mumble)  
U.S.AAAAAAAAAA......  
  
Meanwhile...............  
  
*An avalanche on Carad-Hras comes down. The Fellowship break out to find themselves in a town with really bad animation*  
  
Frodo:Where are we?  
  
Aragorn:I don't know...  
  
Legolas:Stop being all rangery, will you? You're not fooling anyone.  
  
Aragorn:*scowls and pulls out Rangery for Dummies*  
  
Frodo:Gandalf, can you get us out..... Gandalf? *Looks around*  
  
Gandalf:Hey guys! You gotta see this, it's hilarius! *Watches Terrence and Philip*  
  
Frodo:Gandalf!   
  
Gandalf:What? Whoa... I didn't know you could do -that- with your hindquarters!  
  
Aragorn:Hmm... anyone know where I can find a pipe?  
  
Gimli:*laughs* Look at Terrence go!!!  
  
Gandalf:*raises brow* I gotta try that one with Saruman....  
  
Frodo:Guys! We have to get outta here and finish the quest!  
  
Cartman:*Walks up* Who the hell're you?  
  
Stan:I think they're aliens.  
  
Kenny:*muffled noises*  
  
Kyle:Maybe, Kenny, but they look a bit too big.  
  
Gandalf:Uh.... We come in peace! *Makes weird hand sign*  
  
Cartman:Whoa, dude, they are fuckin' aliens!  
  
Frodo:We're not aliens! We come from Middle-Earth.  
  
Kenny:*muffled noises*  
  
Kyle:Lord of the Rings? What the hell is that?  
  
Kenny:*more muffled noises*  
  
Cartman:Never fuckin' heard of it.   
  
Kenny:*sticks up middle finger*  
  
Cartman:AH!!! *unleashes a bomb from Baghdad, killing Kenny*  
  
Kenny:*is dead*  
  
Stan:You killed Kenny!  
  
Kyle:You bastard!  
  
Cartman:So, uh... what are you names?  
  
Gandalf:I'm Gandalf, that's Frodo, that's Gimli, that's Merry, that's Pippin, that's Sam, that's Boromir, and that's Aragorn.  
  
Cartman:And the girly one?  
  
Gandalf:He's not with us.  
  
Legolas:Lyk, I broke a, lyk, NAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cartman:SHUT THE FUCK UP YA DAMN BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Legolas:*runs off, crying like a girl*  
  
Gandalf:Who're you?  
  
Cartman:I'm Cartman, that's Stan and that's Kyle. And that -used- to be Kenny.  
  
Gandalf:Oh.  
  
Timmy:*rolls up* TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!! TIMMY!!!!!!!! TIMMY!!!!!!!!!! TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!! TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Frodo:He's scaring me. *hides behind Sam*  
  
Sam:Don't worry, Mr. Frodo! *pulls out Hobbitry For Dummies*  
  
Aragorn:Is he an Orc?  
  
Cartman:Yeah, he's a dork alright.  
  
Stan:He said Orc not dork. *thwaps Cartman with fish*  
  
Wendy:*walks up* Hel-  
  
Stan:*throws up*  
  
Wendy:*frowns*  
  
Gregory:I will save you Wendy. *walks up*  
  
Cartman:LOOK OUT, IT'S THE GAY WAD!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Gregory:I am not gay, nor am I a wad.   
  
Kyle:Cartman! You're a donkey dick!  
  
Cartman:*scowls* I AM NOT!!!!!!!!! -YOU'RE- A DONKEY DICK!!!!!  
  
Kyle:*scowls*  
  
Cartman:*grins* OOOOHHH-  
  
Kyle:Don't you dare, Cartman!  
  
Cartman:...... OOOOHHHH-  
  
Kyle:Don't even think about it Cartman!  
  
Cartman:Oh, fine...... Wellllll...  
Kyle's mom's a bitch  
She's mom is a big fat bitch  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world  
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch  
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls  
On Monday she's a bitch  
On Tuesday she's a bitch  
On Wednsday through Saturday she's a bitch  
Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a superkinkamayamayabeeatch  
Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world  
She's a mean 'ol bitch and she has stupid hair  
She's a big big big big big big bitch  
Big big big big big big big bitch, she's a stupid bitch  
Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch  
For tons kids around the world it might go something like this:  
(Weird Japenese stuff to the tune)  
(Weird Dutch stuff to the tune)  
(Weird African Tribe stuff to the tune)  
  
Aragorn:*sings in Elvish*  
  
Gimli:*sings in Dwarven*  
  
Gandalf:*sings in Spanish*  
  
Fellowship:*sings along*  
  
Cartman: Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world  
She's a mean 'ol bitch and she has stupid hair  
She's a big big big big big big bitch  
(Other children:*Gasp!*)  
Big big big big big big big bitch, she's a stupid bitch  
Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch  
I really mean it  
Kyles mom, she's a big fat fucking biiiiiiitch  
Big old fucking bitch ass mooooom  
Yeah  
Chaaaa   
  
Cartman:...What.....? *turns around*  
  
Kyle's Mom:*is there*  
  
Cartman:Ah, fuck.  
  
Fellowship:*continues singing*  
Frodo:Kyle's Mom's a bitch, she's just a stupid bitch!  
  
Aragorn:Talk to Elves around the world, it might go a lil' somthin' like this!  
  
(Elvish singing)  
  
Gimli:Talk to Dwarves around the world, it might go a lil' somthin' like this!  
  
(Dwarven singing)  
  
Frodo+Sam+Merry+Pippin:Talk to Hobbits around the world, it might go a lil' somthin' like this!  
  
(Hobbitish Singing)  
  
Children:*dances*  
  
Cartman:*dances*  
  
Stan:*dances*  
  
Kyle:*scowls*  
  
Saddam:*dances*  
  
Satan:*dances*  
  
5 Hours Later.....  
  
Everyone (including Kyle):*are still dancing*  
  
57 Hours later......  
  
Everyone (including Kyle's Mom):*are still dancing*  
  
Frodo:*finally* We should get back to Middle-Earth!  
  
69 Hours Later.....  
  
Everyone:*stops dancing*  
  
Children (except Kyle, Cartman and Stan):*go home*  
  
Kyle's Mom:*goes home*  
  
Gandalf:D'you guys know how we can get back to Middle-Earth?  
  
Kyle:Wellllll, I tihnk Satan can help.  
  
Gandalf:Okay.  
  
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So, what do you think?  
  
  



End file.
